This time last year, in 2017, I went on a detox stress mission. And to be honest, I fell flat on my face! Last year was one of the most stressful years of my life! It seemed that I had achieved very little yet, it ended with immense revelation and hope.
Quite often we came up with ideas that we could put into practice, and I was able to cut out all the bad things in my life and really develop my next project. We did projects that had been handled too much, and honestly left more than we could chew. Which made my jaw joint problems worse. Subsequent pain and insomnia.
Throughout the year, I saw numerous doctors and specialists giving me a lot of medicines and supplements and dietary restrictions. I did a sleep study that showed nothing bad about my breathing. I saw a TMJD specialist and bought a mouthguard that hurt my head. The pressure increased. I was puzzled. We planned intense travel and there were many good times (especially during the Israeli trip), but I was tired and got into total mess during the holidays.
I prayed, sought counsel, received counsel, bought books. (If you saw all the adventure books I have, if I was going to go to the bay, you would laugh or cry. I would say, "Laugh!"). I didn't know how to get out of this hamster wheel.
At Christmas, a friend of mine told me about a lady in Tennessee who might help me pinpoint the source of my problems. Without going into too many details, I went to his office and immediately started crying. I told him I was crap and he said, "You are in the right place." He did some tests and found that my thyroid was off, which I knew, and gave me four supplements that made a difference the first day. He didn't shame me for being crap. He didn't load his hands or his feet. And he was sure I was feeling better.
He knew I was having some difficult common problems through his tests. He also admitted that I was bitten by an insect, which can be the source of all these imbalances. I didn't tell him that.
The day before, I had wanted to find peppermint items for the kitchen and bath at Target. When he tested what smell might help me because he is an aroma therapist, he tried it and said, "Wow, I never believed it was peppermint." More tears!
His business name is "Life Bubble". At night, when I saw him, I pulled out my little brass-colored clay bracelets and what fell on my wrist said, "Breathe in life." Tears of hope came again.
I realized that I had accepted the Detox Stress Challenge without really knowing how to manage stress last year. Nothing had worked out as I thought. Everything I counted on for my efforts fell apart! And many of the things I did, I did with shame and fear.
I started looking for my new season, not right or left. I knew that I had exhausted all my resources and had to release the firm control I had exercised. (Add: "Clean up yourself, Suzanne.")
I started going to the people that mattered to me, to tell them how much they meant to me and to tell them I was sorry if I hurt them. It was such a good feeling to release things that had hurt me too. Just sorry. Forgive me. Forgive me. And you must be forgiven. And the knowledge that I was forgiven by my Lord and saved by Jesus Christ was renewed in my heart.
The word "reconciliation" came to my mind constantly. Then I heard, "Restoration!"
As the New Year approached and the rain stopped, the wind picked up and the fireworks exploded, I felt more free than ever before in my life.
It is good to admit your mistakes and your efforts. Uncovering my pride, shame, and fear is good for me if it can help you break your grip. You know, that grip of perfectionism. I was stuck with it. I was stuck in people who like and can't please anyone! Ha!
But when I really began to have grace for myself and others, I began to see a new level of freedom to be who God put me to be. When I started hearing and accepting how much He loved me and made me uniquely heartbroken, I began.
This 2018 New Year's challenge is called "Restore & Release".
Regardless of your faith, you are invited to join this challenge. I love you and I want you to know that you are not your baby's abs, cellulite, thigh gap, size or weight or anything else that tells you otherwise.
Restoration is coming. Open your heart. Release the grip. Train with JOY. And remember you are worth it!
Love and Happy New Year!
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